Life is Precious, Time is Scarce, Spend it Wisely

    This is how I felt in January.

Whatever the number of actual days, I experience January as exceptionally long. In addition to its length, this year we can add snowy, cold, dark and dreary, at least in our part of the world. Ugh.

While I busied myself with activities, snow sports, and slowly working on chapters for a book, I also spent time deeply engaged in reading.

I've been reading Atul Gawande's book Being Mortal, a book I'd say is a must read for almost anyone over the age of 21 who plans to age, who has aging family members or who is human. His is my favorite type of book for it stimulated all kinds of questions and 
thoughts and ideas and caused me to research similar material and to read and reread 
important pieces.

One such piece was Ezekiel Emanuel's essay, "Why I hope to Die at 75," from a 2014 issue of The Atlantic. This I followed with Paul Kalanithi's  2014 essay, "How Long Have I Got Left?" published in The New York Times  and then his wife's, Lucy Kalanithi, 2016 essay, "My Marriage Didn't End When I Became a Widow" also in The NY Times. I finished off this series with Arthur Brooks' 2016 NY Times essay, "To Be Happier, Start Thinking More About Your Death."

Hmmm. Do you notice a pattern? I'm certainly thinking lots about the end of life for these works thematically hang together in their exploration of death or as I see it, the idea of living fully with the time you have.

Physicians penned three of the pieces and an ultra conservative, Brooks, president of the American Enterprise Institute, the fourth.
Normally, I'm far left of aligning with Brooks and the AEI, but I was intrigued enough by the essay's title to give it a quick read and found value in a few of his ideas.

 Probably too often I've written here about making good use of one's active, Go-Go Years, living with urgency in retirement (Hearn's idea), postponing nothing, living now, and acknowledging that life is finite.

In his essay, Brooks cites a Buddhist monk practice of meditating on photos of decaying corpses as a way of increasing awareness that the physical self, thus life, is temporary, fleeting. The practice's purpose is to assist the individual in focusing on the present, on what is important, to live better in the moment and to realign one's values with allocation of time.  Brooks argues that most people are misaligned, spending time on low value activities (surfing the Internet, viewing tedious television programs) that are not in harmony with their stated values. Misalignment, Brooks thinks results from an "error in decision making," leads to a life of boredom, tedium, and regret.

The solution to wasting time? It is here that I find myself aligned with Brooks' thinking, especially after reading Being Mortal and "How Long Have a I Got Left?" He proposes that consciously contemplating that life is precious and time is scarce as the solution, as in the Buddhist monks' practice. In other words, to live mindfully, with the full awareness that life is momentary can help one realign values.
How does one put such mindfulness into practice?
Brooks proposes that we live a year as though it were our last, living consciously and intentionally. Many others have suggested this strategy. In 1997 Stephen Levine published the book, A Year to Live: How to Live This Year as if it Were Your Last.

To some this might sound bleak, but not to me. Squandering precious time and denying reality, that sounds bleak. Being clear and intentional about life sounds ....optimistic.
As I finish reading Being Mortal, nudging my husband to read it too, I've already selected my next book, Paul Kalanithi's When Breathe Becomes Air. 
My overarching goal for 2016 is to live this year as if it were my last. For this task, I have found some excellent guides.

    Time for some adventures.

     Stay calm and travel.

Possibilities, Perils, and Embracing Retirement

    This guy has his retirement figured out. Beautiful, isn't?
Every so often, a few thoughtful gems land in my email account. This happened recently. Well, the gems did not land recently, I just unearthed them as I waded through long neglected, unread emails.

In my email box, I discovered Mark Moran's (Psychiatric News, July 2015) article highlighting pieces from psychiatrist Glen Gabbard's presentation, Possibilities, Perils for Aging Physicians. Gabbard's lecture, sponsored by the Senior Physicians Section of the AMA, was addressed to the AMA's House of Delegates in July. While Gabbard specifically focuses on aging physicians, I think the gist of his message applies to social workers, psychologists, psychotherapists, clergy, and many others in helping professions and non-helping professions.

 In his presentation, Gabbard makes several points, including that the "practice of medicine is not a job, it's more of a calling," that "the profound gratifications that medicine offers....make aging a challenge" and that the perfectionism, compulsiveness, and an "exaggerated sense of responsibility for one's patients," qualities that make for an excellent physician, can also make "slowing down or retiring difficult or impossible" (Moran, 2015). To this Gabbard adds the kicker, "We have a need to be needed."

Hmm. That last thought cuts true and deep -- the need to be needed.

     In part, Gabbard is pointing out that one's profession and therefore professional identity impact the evenness or unevenness of the transition into retirement.  This, of course, makes sense.  Our talents as well as who we are and what we have experienced combine to draw us toward our chosen careers and can make stepping into the next phase tricky.

    Gabbard, a psychoanalyst, speaks not just to the perils of the transition but also to the upside, the wonderful possibilities of the retirement phase. "Don't postpone" he advises. "The 60s and 70s are a time for harvesting -- spend money on those things you have postponed."
     "Retirement should not be about leaving something; it should be about going to something. Whether you work part-time, not at all, or full time, have a plan about what gives you joy. You have nothing to prove, you have run the race and are no longer in competition."

     Gabbard's points are well made. Move toward something, seek joy, don't postpone (the old live life with urgency idea), and spend time harvesting the fruits of your labor.

     Is this easier said then done?

     Over the years, I'd heard former colleagues suggest that they would "leave their practices feet first," either from financial need or another need and in fact, some did just 
that. Perhaps not quite the approach Gabbard is suggesting.

     However you decide to configure this phase, experts have some suggestions: (Retirement blues: Taking it too easy can be hard on you, Healthbeat Harvard Medical School)

-- Stay engaged since social connectedness is important for health.
-- Find a balance of activities that challenge, like improving a skill or learning something new.
-- Some stress is good, so choose activities that cause you to stretch, but not too easy or too hard.

This year has whizzed by and I'm wondering how I've applied this advice. Guess I'll find out in my next post. Until then, 
Stay calm and carry on 

    Here I am learning something new. And I'm fairly certain when I fell, I stretched something.....does     that count?