This has been quite the final quarter in the year. While at least half of us American voters are mourning the election results (as of today, she's ahead by 1,000,000 votes) and are bracing for a new year that resembles nothing we'd recognize outside a horror movie, in our little piece of the world we've been playing The Waiting Game. You've probably played it; most adults have. Seems as one ages, we wait for less fun reasons. Not for exciting birthday surprises or delicious early Christmas mornings or yummy potato latkes or visits from goofy bunnies delivering painted eggs.
As you age, you wait for medical tests, medical consults, medical results.
Where'd the fun stuff go?
After an MRI months ago determined R has cancerous lesions in his prostate, we waited for a high-tech biopsy of the lesions so we'd know their seriousness. The rankings were not all that good. Next we waited for scans of R's body to determine if the cancer had spread. It had not. Phew! That's the good news. Now we wait for follow up appointments and a referral to a surgeon and all that goes with surgery.
This is what I've learned so far about playing The Waiting Game --
Real living felt suspended until we knew the outcome of the recent scans. Our usually
resourceful,
forward moving, planful selves lived on "pause." Two people who had extensively traveled
had trouble deciding to take a three hour trip to Portland or to attend a movie. I anticipate we'll pause again, many more times before the process is over.
During the first month when we were processing fresh diagnostic information and then again the last week before results, sleep bandits appeared on irregular schedules, robbing us of needed rest and leaving nightmarish dreams in their wake. I began to accept that purplish circles under my eyes would be mine forever.
Days moved at a glacier pace; time became a type of enemy for it allowed too much room for anxious thoughts, distressing possibilities, scary scenarios. Happily my thoughts about the outcomes were way scarier than the reality.
It is best to meditate, practice mindfulness, and strike a zen-like stance -- but that can be difficult to do when grim possibilities are a reality.
And it is always good to be grateful.
What's the point of telling this tale? Perhaps it will prove helpful to someone to know others struggle.
But my main point is that in life, especially in retirement, delay nothing if you can. Pursue
every activity, interest, hobby, any of it that you've considered or wondered about because
life can quickly change and push you into The Waiting Game.
Have a grateful Thanksgiving and delay nothing. Good advice bears repeating.
Because you can't experience too much beauty.
