Ok, that title way over states what I know. Wisdom? Hardly. Wise? Nope. Figuring it out? Yup. I've been working toward figuring out this phase.
There is a bit of mythology among those who haven't yet retired, including some who write about retirement that goes something like this -- You will know (or need to know) how you want to spend your time before you retire. In other words, that you'll have this phase all figured out before you arrive, before you live it.
Hmmmmm. Quite honestly, that just doesn't make sense.
Most people spend upwards of 35 years building and nurturing careers, meaning they've worked long hours, made sacrifices, delayed gratification, probably worked on weekends, short changed vacation time. The shift from developing and focusing on a career to enjoying life, pursuing leisure, and perhaps pursuing the fun path not taken -- is enormous and realistically the shift takes time.
Several months ago, I wrote a post about the "Go-Go Years," the "Slow-Go Years," and the "No-Go Years" and offered up my disagreement with Vanguard's advice to evaluate retirement's progress five years in. Waiting five years to gauge one's progress toward a satisfying retirement just seemed, well, hair brained to me because one could very well be wasting precious "Go-Go Years."
Even more months back, I highlighted a slice from Joe Hearn's 8 Habits of Highly Successful Retirees in which Hearn states that the number one habit of successful retirees is......to live life with URGENCY. Life is precious, don't waste it, get moving.
While one needs to live with urgency and certainly not wait five years to assess if retirement life is working out.......I also think retirees, pre-retirees, almost-retirees must allow themselves time and space to figure out this phase.
What exactly do I mean by that?
Adolescence is a time of exploring, figuring out likes and dislikes, experimenting, trying new activities, learning what fits. Because adolescents are still emerging, growing, developing, adults allow them this time -- or perhaps adolescents seize it. I don't know. It has been a long time since I was an adolescent.
Why shouldn't retirement lay out sort of the same way? Why shouldn't retirees take some time exploring what works, might work, doesn't work?
Joe Hearn (intentionalretirement.com) spoke to this in his post Five Behaviors That Will Ruin Your Retirement. (I actually think Mr. Hearn is a bit of a therapist disguised as a financial planner, but that's a different topic.) Hearn makes several cogent points in his Five Behaviors post, but the one that resonated with me was "Confusing 'Past' you with 'Future' you."
Boy, I'm guilty of this one.
As Hearn points out, retirement should be a time to experience all you've dreamed about but instead some people get waylaid by limiting beliefs about themselves, saying about new experiences, "That's not me." To which Hearn answers,
"That might not have been you when you were working 60 hours a week and raising three kids, but your circumstances have changed.....Maybe you ARE the guy who becomes an expat to Ecuador. Maybe you ARE the lady who takes up skydiving. Maybe you ARE the couple who sells everything and starts a B & B in Oregon. Past you does not equal future you" (my italics).
Past you is not future you. Or current you. I like this. And this is what takes time to understand. Part of this process is creating a new identity but part is also allowing time and space for exploring and experimenting. Just like those wily adolescents we all used to be (only now with more money).
I'm giving myself time to figure this out while I live with urgency (always multi-tasking, that's me) and travel.
Stay calm and carry on. I'm off to cycle.
